Just before we officially started dating, Larissa and I watched the end of "You've Got Mail" - one of the quintessential romantic comedies for nerds like us who communicate in email and instant messages as well as, if not better than, we do in person.

On the DVD, the director, Nora Ephron, gives brief commentaries about the different locations used in shooting the movie. For Starbucks, Ephron attributes much of the success of the Starbucks model because it serves so well as a "third place," the type of community-enhancing gathering places described by Ray Oldenburg.

In trying to figure out what to do on a Saturday afternoon, Larissa and I realized that what we wanted was a place where we could go out, and yet feel at home - our "third place." So, like the true nerds we are, we decided to go on a scouting mission to various coffee shops in the Howell Brighton area. Here's what we found:

Pine Falls Coffee Lodge - It's a small coffee shop located next to Kroger at the intersection of Michigan Ave and M-59 in Howell. We had seen it many times as we went grocery shopping or stopped by Blockbuster or Coldstone. In general, we were disappointed with their hours - they were closed by 8 PM on most nights, and we found the atmosphere to be empty and quiet. Larissa was also not very comfortable sitting in their couch with a fur throw. Our verdict - not viable.

Uptown Coffee House - It's the main coffee shop in downtown Howell, at the intersection of Michigan Ave and Grand River Ave. The atmosphere at Uptown was a marked contrast to Pine Falls; very busy, even noisy. It did have a lot of different seating options (couches, chairs, window bench seat, tables), and it seemed to be a lively hang out spot. However, we just didn't feel comfortable going there to read or do work - it seemed too social. Also, finding parking in downtown Howell seemed to be a potential issue. Our verdict - too social.

Colorado Coffee - It's located in the strip mall where the Howell Fitness Center and Los Tres Amigos are, on the corner of Latson Rd and Grand River Ave. We liked Colorado as a place to gather a group of people together, maybe for discussion or just to hang out. The furniture was a bit dated and worn down, and the seating next the fire place was also exposed to drafts from the door. We liked it, but we didn't feel like it was the place. Our verdict - discussion groups only.

Caribou Coffee - Although we didn't go to Caribou on this particular scouting mission, Larissa and I have been to Caribou quite a bit because we like the drink menu, and the location is convenient. However, it does not really have comfortable seating, and would not serve well as a place to spend significant time. Our verdict - stop by, but don't stay.

Beaner's - This was our first stop at Beaner's located in the Kohl's development on Grand River Ave in Howell. The only customer appeared to be the barista's boyfriend (either that, or Beaner's has a very, very friendly barista). It seemed small, silent, and inconveniently located. Even customers at Kohl's would probably get in their cars to drive to Beaner's - and if you're going to get in your car after shopping at Kohl's, why would you stop on your way out at a small, empty coffee shop, even one with a drive-through? Our verdict - rather drive through Caribou.

Panera Bread - During our "single days" (way back when), this was Larissa's "third place." When Theta met at 11:30 on Sunday mornings, we would often go out to lunch afterwards, and we would often go to Panera. Advantages - free wifi, great menu that could include meals, real fireplace, range of seating options (including outdoor seating for the summer months). Disadvantages - it seems a little too noisy for just casual reading. Other than that, both of us would be content to hang out, have a meal, do some work, etc. Our verdict - good meal or work option, not for reading.

Border's - If Panera was Larissa's "third place," Border's would be mine. Ford and I have often met here to share a quiet drink and both serious and casual discussions; Larissa and I have often come here just to browse the books and gifts; I've seen many groups meeting here for discussion. The main drawbacks include the relatively expensive menu and the lack of free wireless Internet. Border's contracts with T-Mobile, which can cost $10 per day or, at least, $6 for an hour's connection. Our verdict - good for browsing, too expensive for regular use.

Coffee Beanery - Located at the intersection of Old US 23 and Spencer Rd, it's a little out of the way and the entrance design is a bit inconvenient. Driving north on Old US 23, you need to pass Spencer Rd and enter on the somewhat hidden access directly off of Old US 23 because there is no left turn into the entrance off Spencer Rd. This coffee shop struck us as being like a student commons area - limited seating, a bit of a cafeteria style-layout in terms of having the serving area take up almost one entire side of the store, and all the seating running parallel on the other side. We didn't feel like it was a place to spend time; more like a place to stop by for a cup on the way to class. Too bad there aren't any colleges nearby. Our verdict - won't go out of our way.

Espresso Royale - In some ways, this has the least likely location, being directly off of Grand River Ave in Brighton, not really next to anything. However, we found the atmosphere to be just the right combination of people and activity - there seemed to enough people to give a sense of social space, yet everyone seemed quiet enough to allow you to have a private conversation or keep your concentration while reading. The menu, although not as extensive as Panera or Border's, had good prices and drink offerings (especially with a very wide selection of teas), and the seating options ranged from comfy chairs in a private corner to a couch / coffee table area to several different sized tables to a couple of outdoor tables for the summer months. Our verdict - best option for reading and work - a great third place.

So there you have it - our scouting report of the various third place options in the Howell / Brighton area. If we feel like lunch or dinner with some work, we'll go to Panera. If we feel like browsing around books and gifts and sharing a drink, we'll go to Border's. But for going out and feeling at home, Espresso Royale is our third place.